As we'd posted before, I'd had sporadic contractions on an almost daily basis for weeks before actually going into active labor. On Wednesday afternoon, in fact, I had so many contractions that I sat and timed them for an hour. They were five minutes apart. I was about to call Mike and tell him to come home and call the midwife and tell her to head our direction when the contractions stopped. Just completely stopped. I was so upset.
We knew my body was more than ready to have this baby, because I'd been walking around for weeks more than three centimeters dilated and with an almost completely effaced cervix. It was just a question of when something would happen that would tip the scales in favor of labor and get everything really moving. NeNe was convinced that "something" would be the full moon on November 2nd. She and Papa decided to go ahead and come down to Texas in time to enjoy Halloween with Meredith, hoping that they wouldn't have to wait around too long after Halloween for Alex to make his grand appearance.
I was so happy to have them here because it meant that we wouldn't have to worry about delivering Meredith to a friend's house when I went into labor, and that Meredith could even be present for the birth, if we felt like she was handling everything okay. I did have some concerns about what we'd do with Papa during the birth though, as he's pretty squeamish about bodily fluids, but I figured it would all work out somehow.
By the time I had those two hours of close contractions on Wednesday afternoon, I'd already tried a lot of natural remedies suggested by our midwife to try to bring on the labor we knew my body was ready to handle. None of them seemed to work though, which left me pretty frustrated. I was beginning to worry because we knew Alex would be a big baby and I was concerned about the possibility of going overdue and ending up in the hospital on pitocin or in need of an emergency c-section. On Wednesday, November 4th, Kristen, our midwife, shared with me a LONG list of studies, all showing that induction for a suspected "large for gestational age" baby (which Alex was) was more likely to result in a c-section or other intervention than just waiting and allowing nature to take its course. When the natural remedies failed to send me into labor, she gently suggested that I take a break from all of it, try to make myself as comfortable as possible and just wait for Alex to choose his own birthday. Seeing study after study showing that waiting would most likely get us what we wanted: an intervention-free birth at home, I resigned myself to just waiting it out.
We went to bed early on Wednesday night, and I found myself waking up about every hour to use the bathroom. Every time I woke up, I was having a contraction. They were just like the other contractions I'd been having, so I didn't think anything of it. I did notice that I seemed to be getting up to use the bathroom more frequently than I had been, but I was half-asleep and it didn't really register to me that perhaps this could be significant.
When I woke up at 2:00 am, everything was different. I had the worst pain I'd experienced to date, both in my lower back and at the bottom of my belly. I woke Mike up and had him rub my back. I shifted positions repeatedly, trying to get comfortable, but nothing worked. At exactly 2:06 am (I was standing near the alarm clock), I felt a "pop" and hobbled to the bathroom as quickly as I could. As soon as I sat down, I called out to Mike that my water had broken. He asked how I knew it was the amniotic sac rupturing. I'm sure the look on my face convinced him, because he didn't say anything after that.
He brought me my cell phone, and we called Kristen. She agreed that my water had likely broken, and she asked us to time contractions for a little while to see how close together they were. If they were five minutes apart or closer, she wanted us to call her back so she could go ahead and drive across town to our house. If they were further apart than five minutes, she wanted me to try to rest as much as possible. Several minutes later, I was in the throes of such intense and frequent contractions that I had Mike call Kristen back and tell her "come now!"
We woke up NeNe and Papa and told them we were pretty sure this was finally IT. We don't have a spare bedroom, so they were sleeping in the living room. Papa suggested that he'd just go back to sleep, but when NeNe pointed out that we were planning to put a birthing pool in the middle of the living room, he quickly said to Mike, "Maybe you could move my bed into Alex's room?"
He headed off to the nursery, and NeNe and Mike sprung into action. They rolled carpet protector film onto the living room floor where the birthing pool would go, they made up the bed for the birth, they straightened the bathroom, and they lit vanilla candles around the living room for me.
While we waited for Kristen and her midwife apprentice, Ally, I put on a Hypnobabies CD for the birth and sat in the rocking chair, trying to listen to the calming CD and breathe through contractions. Mike heated up the rice sock for me (fill a clean sock with uncooked rice, tie off the end, heat in the microwave for a minute or so - it's HEAVEN!), and I alternated placing it on my lower back or my lower belly. Contractions were coming MUCH faster and more intensely than I'd anticipated.
Ally lives fairly close to us, and she arrived first. She and Kristen both have the most calming and relaxing demeanor, which is a big part of why we hired Kristen. Little did we know we were getting a two-for-one deal with Ally.
Ally checked my vitals and then sat with me and talked me through contractions. I will admit - it hurt worse than I thought it would. I just could not get comfortable, no matter how many positions I tried. For some contractions, I could handle sitting in the rocking chair. For others, I preferred to hang onto Mike, almost in a slow dance type position, but with me bent over a little bit. Getting on all fours was agony, as was lying on my side. I threw up a couple of times and got a bad case of the shakes and the dry heaves, which didn't do a lot to improve my mood. My contractions were just a few minutes apart, and I was starting to worry that Kristen wouldn't make it all the way to our house before Alex arrived.
When Kristen arrived, she gently broke the news that I likely would not be able to use the birthing pool. I had planned to deliver Alex in the pool, but my contractions were too close together for us to have enough time to get the pool inflated and filled. She suggested that I try getting into the bathtub instead. Our master bath has a rather small garden tub, as far as garden tubs go, but it is wider and deeper than a regular tub.
As we were filling the tub, I asked Ally, "So, do you think this is real? I mean, like real enough to call our photographer and wake her up?" She looked at me like she was trying not to laugh and said, "Um, yeah, this is pretty real. You're having a baby." Mike called a friend of ours who had offered to photograph the birth. Unfortunately, Wednesday night/Thursday morning was the ONE night in all of October and November that she was unavailable because her husband was out of town, and she had nowhere to leave her children. She said she could take them to daycare early and be over as soon as possible. We told her that we understood - and we really did. We would have loved to have her there for the birth, but babies come when they're good and ready, and it doesn't always work with everyone's schedule.
Mike helped me into the bathtub, still dressed in my nightgown, where I kept turning up the hot water, trying to use the heat to lessen the intensity of the contractions. Once I was in the water and feeling a little better, Mike asked me if I minded if he picked up our camera and took some photos. I told him to go right ahead. And in retrospect, he got some really good shots, and probably would have gotten more had I not snapped at him "take any more pictures, and I'll kill you." What I really meant was, "I need you to put down the camera, take my hand, and help me through this," but I couldn't articulate that in a nice way. Labor does weird things to the connection between your brain and your mouth, I think.
I had a hand towel over the belly to let the hot water help relax me.
When the contractions intensified, I asked for Ally. She brought some of my candles into the bathroom and turned down the lights to help create a more peaceful atmosphere. I was kneeling sideways in the bathtub, with my head bent over, resting on the side of the tub (which was bad because I ended up with a sore forehead the next day), and I begged Ally to talk me through this, to tell me that yes, I could do this. She helped me fight the natural tendency to tense up in pain and relax through the contraction as she reminded me that all over the world, at that very moment, women everywhere were birthing their babies the way nature intended, that my body was made for this, and that yes, I COULD do this.
Despite her soothing words, I had my doubts. Labor was so much more intense than I'd anticipated, and I wasn't sure I was going to get through it. I had it in the back of my head that if I was still hanging out at less than five centimeters dilated (out of 10, for those who aren't very knowledgeable about birth), I was done with homebirth and wanted to go to the hospital for an epidural. That was a MASSIVELY irrational thought on my part because the reality was that my contractions were so close together that I could not have gotten out of that bathtub by myself, much less changed clothes and gone to a hospital.
Still though, I was convinced it was possible, so I asked Kristen to check me. She was able to do so while I was still in the tub, and she grinned at me and said, "You are more than 8 centimeters already!" She and Ally reminded me that this was transition, where the cervix finishes dilating before it is time to push, and that it was natural to have fears and doubts about my ability to continue. The good news about transition is that it means you're almost done, so I shifted in the bathtub and decided (as if I had much of a choice) that yeah, I guess I can do this.
Around that same time (I think), Kristen introduced me to Patty, the backup midwife. Since Ally isn't fully licensed yet, Kristen arranged for another midwife to be present at the birth, in the event that there was an emergency with both mother and baby. She can only be in one place at a time, so having a backup is an important safety measure. Patty ended up being an excellent choice, as she had the same calm and relaxing presence that Kristen and Ally both have.
We don't have a clock in the bathroom, so I wasn't sure how long I labored after Kristen checked me, but I could tell that it was still dark outside. A short time after that check, I remember calling out that I was "feeling pushy." My details are a little fuzzy at this point in the labor, but I remember laying back in the tub and working with my body's urge to push. It was at this point that Mike put away the camera and let me grip his hand for support.
As soon as I felt Alex's head go through the cervix, I pulled myself back up onto my knees in the bathtub and focused on getting our son OUT as soon as possible. Pushing, while very physically intense, felt so much better than the transition contractions. It was such a huge relief to be done with those and actively working to deliver my baby. When I labored with Meredith, I was under the influence of the epidural, and the nurse-midwife who delivered her had to tell me when to push and for how long. Kristen let me direct my own pushing. When I felt the urge to push, I tried to relax all of my upper body and focus all of my energy just on pushing Alex down and out. It felt so much more natural and easy than my previous birth. And with me on my knees in the water, I was able to reach down and actually feel the top of Alex's head and judge for myself what kind of progress I was making.
As I felt Alex moving down the birth canal and the actual birth getting close, I started to worry about the possibility of tearing. Kristen told me that if I'd lay back in the tub, she could help support my bottom as Alex was born, and it might hurt less. I laid back in the water and delivered our son's head. The umbilical cord was wrapped once around his neck, just like Meredith's was, and I tried to breathe and NOT push as Kristen carefully unwrapped the cord.
Once his head was out, my body went into a brief period of rest. I don't know how long it lasted - no more than a few minutes I'm sure - but it seemed very odd that I suddenly didn't have the urge to push. That rest period must have concerned Kristen and Patty though because they told me that I needed to be upright to let gravity work with me to get Alex out. They'd warned me that that might be a possibility, but when they insisted I get upright, I remember thinking, "You have got to be freaking kidding me. There is no way I'm moving." I suddenly felt multiple hands on my arms and shoulders, pulling me upright.
I ended up more or less on one bended knee in the bathtub, and with one final push, our son entered the world at 4:57 am, less than three hours after my water broke. I immediately reached down into the bathtub and lifted Alexander William out of the water and into my arms.
I laid back in the tub with Alex in my arms and noticed then that his eyes were closed, he was pale and floppy, and he wasn't responding at all to my touch or my voice. Kristen and Patty instructed me to continue talking to him as they rubbed him and tried to clear his lungs so he could breathe.
This is his first photo, with the midwives working on him.
I started to feel panicky when Kristen brought out the oxygen. Alex was so much bigger than the average newborn, and the mask was a poor fit for his face. She ended up having to use infant CPR on him to get him breathing on his own. It was scary to watch, but we were both massively thankful for her CPR certification.
I rubbed Alex's hands and feet as they worked on him, and I spoke to him, calling out his name, trying to get him to response. Kristen and Patty then had to take him from my arms. They laid him on the side of the garden tub and tried to clear out his lungs again. I shifted with them as they moved Alex, as he was still attached to me by the umbilical cord. I knew Kristen was trying to let the cord pulse as long as possible so Alex could receive the much-needed oxygen-rich cord blood. His color improved dramatically, but he still wasn't crying or moving like they needed him to.
Kristen explained to me as they worked on him that very large babies, especially those who pass quickly through the birth canal, sometimes go into shock. She said that Alex hadn't been in the birth canal long enough for all of the fluids to be squeezed from his lungs. I asked them how long I'd pushed, and I was shocked when everyone responded, "about 15 minutes."
Kristen and Patty decided then that they needed a larger flat surface to lay Alex on, so they clamped and cut the umbilical cord. I stayed in the bathtub while they helped Alex clear his lungs. Moments later, Alex finally opened his eyes, and we heard his first cry. It was the biggest relief to hear him cry.I knew then that he'd be fine.
I got to snuggle with Alex a little more after that before Ally and Mike took him into the bedroom to weigh him and get him wrapped up all nice and warm.
His little newborn hat was already too small!
After delivering the placenta, I asked to take a shower, but Kristen and Patty told me that they needed me to lay down in the bed for a little while to make sure that I didn't have any serious bleeding. They helped me to the bed where I was reunited with our not-so-little baby boy.
Kristen checked and determined that I had a small tear, but that stitches wouldn't be necessary if I agreed to get plenty of rest and not overdo it. I agreed, anxious to avoid stitches. I was able to take a shower shortly after that, and once I was clean and back in bed in a clean nightgown, I felt AMAZING. I was on such an adrenaline high from the birth. Kristen examined Alex and re-weighed him, declaring him to officially be 11 pounds, 6 ounces and 22 inches long. His head circumference was nearly 15 inches, so he was a big baby all around, but absolutely perfect in every way!
The midwives stayed until late morning, making sure that I was comfortable nursing Alex and that he and I were both doing okay. It was so peaceful and wonderful to snuggle in my own bed with my new son, my husband and my daughter, with my parents and our awesome team of midwives in the next room, laughing, talking and having breakfast in between trips to the master bedroom to check on us. We've had frequent visits with Kristen and Ally in the two weeks since Alex's birth, and I know Mike and I are going to miss them once our postpartum visits end!
Alexander's home birth was, quite simply, the most intense and amazing experience we've ever had. We are so blessed to have this sweet, precious new little boy in our lives. We are in awe of his entrance into the world and eternally grateful to Kristen, Ally and Patty for helping us have such a wonderful birth.
